The Unlikely Family

Happy Father’s Day!
If you were here last month when I spoke, you know my son Elijah got married.
Said there would be something different… eye, Mohs surgery.
This is the message of Paul in Romans 16. Not eye-patch friendships exactly, but a community of believers who will walk alongside you, stick their necks out for you, host you, labor with you… maybe eye-patch humor with you, although not explicit in scripture.
Romans is a masterpiece of theology and history (historians actually view it as one of the most valuable historical documents of the first century). And yet, he doesn’t end it with a final exam on theology… he ends the book of Romans with people. A small group of faithful believers. Paul is writing here with the heart of a spiritual father checking in on his kids and the people who helped him raise the church.
Three parts to Romans 16:
Paul’s shout-outs to the faithful in Rome (the most verses)
His warning to them
His concluding thoughts and praise to God

Part 1: The Unlikely Family Celebrated
Romans 16:1-16
Paul, a ROMAN citizen (by birth), has never been to Rome at this point and yet he greets roughly two dozen people by name. 10 to 11 of which are women. And several house churches. This mighty little counter-cultural group of Christ followers in the capital of the world.
And remember, in AD 49, the Edict of Claudius kicked many Jewish believers out of Rome. That’s where Paul met a lot of these exiles. A hodgepodge of people.
The gospel, the good news of Jesus, creates an unlikely family:
Men and women
Jews and Gentiles
Slaves, freed persons, and people of higher status
House-church leaders and ordinary believers
Wealthy and poor
Paul’s prison buddies
This group of believers was 0.5% of the Roman population at most. There were 1 million people in Rome at the time of Emperor Nero (around AD 57). That means 2,000 to 3,000 Christians MAX.
Comparing it to Pleasanton: 75,000 people would mean 375 Christians.
Let’s look at a few of these believers in Rome.
1. PHOEBE
Romans 16:1-2 “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae. I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of his people and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been the benefactor of many people, including me.”
PHOEBE: In the ancient world, there was no public postal system. If you wanted a letter delivered from Corinth to Rome, you had to trust someone to physically carry it across land and sea. Many scholars believe Phoebe was that person. She carried the actual manuscript of the Book of Romans.
In the ancient world, letter carriers often served as trusted representatives of the sender, delivering the letter, answering questions, and helping explain the author’s intent. Because Romans is Paul’s most complex theological work, it means a woman was likely the very first person to teach and answer questions about it to the house churches in Rome.
She was called a deacon, or one who serves. The hands and feet of Jesus. A faithful believer. She used any resource to help others, including Paul, and so Paul was saying—when she arrives, do the same for her! Shout-out Phoebe!
2. Priscilla and Aquila
Romans 16:3-4 “Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. Greet also the church that meets at their home.”
It is notable that Priscilla is mentioned first. This husband-and-wife team were among Paul’s closest ministry partners. We learn from Acts that they were Jews and fellow tentmakers who met Paul after Emperor Claudius expelled the Jews from Rome.
Paul says they “risked their lives” for him. We aren’t told exactly when, but whatever they did made such an impact that Paul says not only he, but all the Gentile churches, are grateful for them.
Earlier in Romans, Paul addressed tensions between Jewish and Gentile believers over practices, traditions, and matters of conscience. Yet here is a Jewish couple who are deeply loved and appreciated by Gentile Christians throughout the church. Their lives seem to embody the very unity Paul has been calling for throughout this letter.
We see their theology in action in Acts 18, when they take a highly educated, passionate preacher named Apollos into their home to gently teach him. They didn’t cancel him; “they invited him into their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately.” Risking their safety, they served Christ’s people regardless of background. Shout-out to them and their home church!
3. Andronicus and Junia
Romans 16:7 “Greet Andronicus and Junia, my fellow Jews who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was.”
A pair of believers, likely a couple. They have Greek/Roman names, but Paul says “my fellow Jews.” PRISON buddies. They, like Paul, were familiar with suffering for the gospel.
“They are outstanding among the apostles.” Junia is almost certainly a woman. Some understand Paul to mean that Andronicus and Junia were apostles themselves, while others believe they were highly esteemed by the apostles. Either way, Paul is giving them a remarkable commendation and shout-out.
4. Narcissus
Romans 16:11 “Greet those in the household of Aristobulus… Greet Herodion, my fellow Jew. Greet those in the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord.”
Verse 11, “Narcissus.” I personally want to give him a special shout-out. Because of his name. We have people named Paul, and Priscilla, and Phoebe… but not Narcissus. Can you imagine if that was what you named your kid? And is it Narci for short? Or Narc?
But Paul isn’t making a joke here. Most scholars believe this refers to the household connected to a man named Narcissus, a powerful figure in the court of Emperor Claudius. By the time Paul writes Romans, Narcissus himself was likely already dead, but members of his household had come to faith in Christ.
That’s the key detail: the gospel had taken root inside an imperial household. Even in the center of Roman power and prestige, there were believers quietly living out their faith. Through ordinary faithfulness, the gospel had broken into every class of society, including even those connected to the emperor’s inner circle. Shout-out Narci’s household!
Challenge / Application
Be a light wherever you are.
Bring the gospel whether you are a student, or an assistant to the CEO, or the CEO yourself. The love of God is spread not primarily through institutions but through people like you and me showing up and lovingly and faithfully serving. Blue Oaks is filled with these kinds of people. This is how the church grows and the good news is spread..
It is YOU and ME who bring the good news to the unchurched, the skeptical, the marginalized, the hurting.
Romans 16:16 “Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings.”
In the ancient Near East and Greco-Roman worlds, a kiss on the cheek, forehead, or hands was standard within your own family members or social equals. Paul is now saying—this is your family, and your social status does not matter.
Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
This is the unlikely family. People who, apart from Christ, would have had little reason to belong together, now united as one body. And this small, diverse group of believers would go on to carry the gospel across the Roman world, even through seasons of intense persecution under Nero.
On Father’s Day, we honor protectors. Good fathers don’t just celebrate their families; they protect them from danger. That’s exactly what Paul does next as the spiritual father…he spent has spent sixteen verses celebrating this unlikely family. Now he protects it, warning them to watch out for those who would tear it apart.

Part 2: The Unlikely Family Protected
Romans 16:17-20
Romans 16:17-18 “I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”
WATCH OUT FOR divisive people who:
Cause division & offer contrary teachings
Serve themselves, not Jesus
Pull people away from the gospel with smooth talk and flattery
Verse 18: “For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites.”
Churches are rarely destroyed from the outside. More often they’re damaged from the inside through pride, self-promotion, and false teaching. Paul says watch out. Stay away. Seeing this all the time, especially with social media and the internet. Be on alert for pastors, teachers, leaders who are building their kingdoms.
Do not raise your hand but… how many of you have been BURNED by “church?” Really, individuals in the church. How many of you have been led astray, betrayed by “Christians?” Paul actually says “such people are not serving Christ, but their own appetites.” IT IS SO DISCOURAGING. REAL PERSONAL HURT AND BETRAYAL. Easy to become cynical of all things church, and church people, and Christian.
The antidote to cynicism isn’t pretending the hurt didn’t happen. The pain is real. The damage is real. And it has to be worked through and healed. Don’t skip that part.
But here’s the question: can you let the faithful people in your life be louder than the ones who wounded you?
Paul seems to. And this is a man who knows what it means to be burned. How? Maybe it’s the shout-outs. Maybe it is remembering the people in his life who have NOT burned him. The unlikely family of faithful believers. The ordinary people from all walks of life who serve the Lord and each other faithfully.
Romans 16:19-20 “Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I rejoice because of you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.”
(Then Paul in v. 21-24 says “A bunch of other people say hi.”)
“Everyone has heard about your obedience.” Paul is encouraged by them.
Be wise about what is good. Innocent about what is evil. Know truth well enough to recognize error. The God of peace will prevail. HANG IN THERE.
Verses 21-23: More people send greetings. Timothy, Lucius, Jason…
Verse 24: Some manuscripts include here, “May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with all of you. Amen.”
The Application / Challenge
Look for the light bearers wherever you are.
Think about the faithful believers in your life who have stuck their necks out for you, walked alongside you, mentored you, hosted you, ministered to you. Your Phoebes, Priscillas, aquilas. Who is coming to you mind? Bonus – tell them this week. Pray for them. Thank God for them.
I think of my mother-in-law and my husband. (expand for a few mins here).
Ask God to help you to focus less on the betrayers and more focus on those light bearers.
After all the names, all the warnings, all the greetings, Paul lifts his eyes one final time from the people to the God behind all the people.

Part 3: The Unlikely Family Sustained
Romans 16:25-27 “Now to him who is able to establish you in accordance with my gospel, the message I proclaim about Jesus Christ, in keeping with the revelation of the mystery hidden for long ages past, but now revealed and made known through the prophetic writings by the command of the eternal God, so that all the Gentiles might come to the obedience that comes from faith—to the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ! Amen.”
Romans 16:25-27 functions as one continuous sentence in the original Greek. [RUN-ON SENTENCE joke]. It follows the exact grammatical blueprint of a biblical doxology:
The reason this unlikely family exists is because of the gospel laid out in Romans. God has created it. And God can sustain it. TO HIM WHO IS ABLE.

Closing
We started today looking at my son Elijah’s wedding photo. Standing there as his mom, watching him start a new family. And my greatest prayer for my kids isn’t that they become famous, wealthy, or powerful in the eyes of the world. My prayer is that they live lives of ordinary faithfulness. Wherever God leads them. That they surround themselves with an unlikely family of believers like Phoebe, Priscilla, and Aquila. And hopefully their mother-in-law sometimes.
To all the dads and father-figures here today: thank you for how you encourage, protect, love, and lead.
And to the whole church family: Let’ be the kind of church family who celebrates and encourages one another, who protects one another and relies on God to sustain the unity in this unlikely family.
To Him who is able. AMEN.